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Author Archives: Asof
Anyone here work in television?
I have an idea for a new programme which I’m going to call “Celebrity Morris Dancing”. In it, a group of Z-list celebrities are paired up with a professional cloggie, who is carrying a big stick. That’s as far as … Continue reading
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What’s an invention?
What is an invention? If you come up with a new idea, does it matter that someone else had it first? I think just about everyone thinks it does – which is a shame as I had an idea last … Continue reading
Dear American Shopkeeper…
I have a small request. Just a little one. Next time you’re labelling your stock or setting up price lists, do you think the amount you put on your price list or price tag could be the amount I have … Continue reading
Classless Society 2?
I feel slightly dirty about something I just did. I am an egalitarian. I believe all men are equal. But I think I just betrayed my principles. We arrived at a restaurant and the conversation went like this: “Good evening, … Continue reading
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Classless Society?
While waiting to board at Manchester International Airport (home, incidentally, of the World’s Worst Technology Display – a 3DTV in duty free which shows adverts which actually look less convincingly 3D than a traditional 2D television) we were treated to … Continue reading
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Time to eat…
It had been an odd few days, gastronomically speaking. Sunday at 5 am, I was stood in front of an open fridge playing “Chew or Chuck”. The bin got the cabbage and old peppers, I got two apples, a piece … Continue reading
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Broadband upgrade
The phone rang in Asof Towers a few weeks ago. “Good afternoon! My name is Julian. May I speak to Dr Asof?” It took me a little while to understand Julian due to his accent – not as you might … Continue reading
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Der Spring Is Sprung…
As the weather gets warmer – well, less cold, anyway – the familiar spring rituals come round again in their timeless cycle. Each year I know that after I’ve taxed the car, it’ll soon be time to worm the cat, … Continue reading
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Classic film remake
We seem to be going through a phase of remakes – sorry, reimaginings (is that even a word?) – of classic films. We’re also in a recession, so budgets are being cut. I’ve had an idea to cash in on … Continue reading
How To Get Thrown Out Of Medical School – part 2
So, you’ve made it in to medical school and you want out. It’s possible – but you need to know what you’re doing. The first thing you have to remember is that universities are large organisations with long histories, and … Continue reading
