Time to eat…

It had been an odd few days, gastronomically speaking. Sunday at 5 am, I was stood in front of an open fridge playing “Chew or Chuck”. The bin got the cabbage and old peppers, I got two apples, a piece of ham and a slice of my father’s birthday cake from the day before. Most of the rest of the day was spent either in the air or waiting in airports and the food was pretty much what you’d expect. But finally we got to Buffalo, picked up the car and drove to Canada. Drove very slowly, I must say, not because I was freaking out about driving an automatic on the wrong side of the road, but simply because (as best I could judge by reading number plates) every Canadian in the US was trying to get out before Independence Day (my wedding anniversary. Yes, Alanis, it is, unlike much of your song.) We were in a queue for over two hours and according to the news reports, we were the lucky ones! Finally we got to the hotel. It was 10pm clock time, 3am stomach time when we stumbled into a Wendy’s. Now, I don’t know if you’re aware that the name Wendy was created by the writer J M Barrie for the heroine of his best known work “Peter Pan” but perhaps I should have anticipated a step sideways from the world I know. And so it was that I set my eyes on The Baconator. How could I resist anything with such as name? Well, I couldn’t. It’s hard to describe The Baconator. It’s as if someone took a pig, used it to beat a cow to death, grilled the grizzly remains and then buried the evidence in a bun. I couldn’t see any evidence of vegetables or anything which might have contained vitamins. Asof Junior said there was cheese in his – but he may have been having a carnivore hallucination. And I have to say it was delicious. I’m not a big fan of fast food burgers, but I’d have another one of these – as soon as my body had digested this one. So that’ll be in time for the next Convention in 2013.

About Asof

Asof works at - OK, Asof's salary is paid by - a large medical school in the north of England. His body is usually sat in front of a computer. No one seems very clear where his mind is.
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