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Classic film remake

We seem to be going through a phase of remakes – sorry, reimaginings (is that even a word?) – of classic films. We’re also in a recession, so budgets are being cut. I’ve had an idea to cash in on this lucrative market AND save money at the same time – simultaneous remakes.

I’m working on a script now – it’s a simultaneous remake of two 1970’s specials – creature feature “Jaws” and supernatural vomitfest “The Omen”. I’ve only written one scene so far – it’s the one in which Brody and Hooper (I’m thinking Tom Cruise and Russel Brand?) perform a black-magic ritual to get rid of the shark and only then realise the size of the creature, and that their sacrificial animal was far too small to appease it. Brody looks from the shark back to Hooper and utters the immortal line: “You’re gonna need a bigger goat.”

No – you’re right. What was I thinking? Stupid idea. Cruise isn’t right for Brody. I’ll give Will Ferrell’s agent a call.

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